In case you don't know our story, you can read here about the loss of our two babies August and April. We went through a really hard time between January 2012 through mid 2013 with losing two babies and a year of infertility in between. During this time, I found out about an infertility group that a girl from our church was starting for a summer bible study in 2012. I joined one month after my second miscarriage. There were several girls in the group all with very different stories. I was the only one with secondary infertility because I had already had one successful pregnancy. An amazing transformation took place in me during that study and I realized that I not only had to trust in The Lord, but more importantly I had to BELIEVE in His promises. I knew He could give me a baby, but I didn’t BELIEVE He was really going to. Atleast not without lots of fertility drugs and doctors. I often felt like Peter trying to walk on the water. I was stepping out, believing that I could do this, only to look down and be instantly filled with fear and sink. Fear, such as the fear of having another miscarriage or maybe I’ll never have another child. I learned to confess out loud what His promises for me were and I learned how to use the power of the Holy Spirit to release the fear I had inside. When the fear would creep back in, I would read scriptures like 2nd Timothy 1:7 “For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self control” and others that I had saved in my notes on my phone. And you know what? The Holy Spirit showed up every time, He never failed and always took away that fear and anxiety. Another one that I would read daily was James 1:5-7, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault. and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” WOW! That was tough for me to read. I didn’t want that kind of faith. Isaiah 53:5 tells us that “By his wounds we are healed”. I also learned to pray bold prayers. And not to be afraid to ask for what seems impossible to us.
After some time, I was ready to believe and I was ready to walk all the way across the lake this time. I believed that He had healed me and that I would not seek any further fertility treatments. I quickly learned not to be surprised when miracles happen after you choose to believe in His power. I found out that I was pregnant naturally less than a month later and Hilton was born on March 18th of this year. Each day of that pregnancy was filled with daily surrender to The Lord, up until the moment he was born. Something I had never done before and I felt that I finally understood what it meant to be desperately dependent on the Lord.
No, this third baby wasn't a part of my plan. We were beyond thrilled just to have had Hilton join us and I wouldn't have even thought of another baby right now. But that's what makes this story show the glory of God. I believe that He wanted me to have another pregnancy that I could truly enjoy. I've chosen not to take the daily blood thinner shots this time and to completely put my trust in the Lord. I only go to the doctor every 4 weeks, just like a normal pregnancy, like it was with Savannah Kate. I never thought I would be able to have a normal pregnancy again, and only God could have made that happen.
I've also chosen not find out the sex of the baby this time. This will be very challenging for me, but I want to FULLY trust the Lord with this baby for every detail. Can't wait for the surprise!
Thanks for your prayers for our family. We are getting settled in our new house and looking forward to meeting our new miracle baby!
Adding a new little pumpkin to our patch!